I'm XnneHang.

Language and introspection

Verbal/linguistic intelligence + intrapersonal/introspective intelligence — Theory of multiple intelligences

Writing a blog feels deeply satisfying to me, and much of what I write—reviews and reflections—is also intensely personal.

Solitude

INFP

Being alone feels deeply satisfying to me.

Living with my attention

I may have ADHD. I have not had the opportunity to seek a diagnosis, but my behavior is remarkably similar to that of a friend who has been diagnosed.

What this looks like for me

Expand / collapse the list

• Having music on is not a distraction for me; it is soothing. It helps me begin things.
• When someone lands on a topic that matches my wavelength, I often cannot help jumping in and interrupting. I really have been working hard to hold that impulse back.
• I am driven entirely by passion. For the past several years, that passion has been figuring out how to give a virtual girlfriend a soul. I am glad I found something to pour that passion into so early, and that it appears to be a lasting project.
• I have mild reading difficulties. At first I assumed everyone experienced reading this way. I can quickly understand the parts that interest me, seize on them, and even extrapolate further. But with unfamiliar ideas, my attention struggles to find a point of entry. They are like solid stones that my eyes cannot chisel into at all. Eventually I compromised: before I read, I ask myself questions first.
• I often have many ideas and then forget them moments later, so I began writing them down and letting them slowly become things I can finish.
• If you have ever seen my desk… most people choose silence at that moment.

Still, I am fairly optimistic about it. Through introspection, I have taken myself apart and examined how I work many times. I struggle to begin, so music helps me begin; I struggle to persist, so passion helps me persist.

I have learned to work with these traits. As a result, it is often easier for me to enter a state of deep flow—and that feels deeply satisfying too.

Writing in pursuit of questions

I like blogging while I am learning, following a question and writing down the exploration as it unfolds. Curiosity pushes me to keep asking, and it also pushes me to preserve the process.

But if I have to rewrite something I already understand, I find it painfully boring. I put it off and put it off until it disappears. Once there is nothing left in a subject that I want to know, my motivation to write about it disappears as well.

That is why this site has quite a few unfinished series. They do not necessarily mean I stopped learning; sometimes the question I most wanted answered had simply reached its end.

Preserving the echo

When I write about something I have watched, read, or played, I am trying to preserve the voice—quite literally a voice—that passes through me at the end of a game, during a film’s closing moments, or after the final page of a novel. Even after a long time, reading those words again can still reveal something, as though I were having a one-way conversation with my former self. And if they happen to reach someone who felt the same way, that is like meeting an old friend far from home.

Replaying the pitfalls

When I run into a technical pitfall, I may manage to solve it with the help of a large language model while still not truly understanding its cause or the real solution. I record it so that the next time it happens, I can replay what I learned instead of making the whole westward journey again.

Collecting fragments

I also record bits of useless trivia and tiny passing moments. There is no particular reason—or perhaps I simply do not know the reason—much like asking what the point of living is.